


No One Gets Left Behind

by IcyPanther



Series: Got Your Back [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron)-centric, Matt Holt is a Good Sibling, Matt Holt-centric, Protective Matt Holt, Shiro (Voltron) Angst, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:41:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23945629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyPanther/pseuds/IcyPanther
Summary: Matt and Keith may be safe now, but things are far from all right. While Matt isn’t going to interrogate anyone as he just was, he is determined to get answers and see for himself what is going on with Shiro. He doesn’t know what he’ll find but he does know Keith is not going back to the Blades of Mamora. Because Keith needs a team that'll watch his back and Matt is never going to let his little brother be left behind again.
Relationships: Keith & Shiro (Voltron), Matt Holt & Keith, Matt Holt & Shiro
Series: Got Your Back [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1536319
Comments: 121
Kudos: 385





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> **Timeline notes:** immediately following prequel _Save Me Now_  
>  **Warning notes:** none

“There you go, nice and easy now, lad,” a warm voice murmured, nearly as warm as the hands and what Matt blearily decided was a blanket now wrapped about his shoulders. “You’re all right.”

Matt hummed to that. 

He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on but the chill was going away and he was becoming deliciously warm and if he hadn’t been apparently standing he thought he could fall asleep.

He could remedy that.

He tipped forward and the arms tightened about him with a soft, “whoa there, my boy,” and while Matt still couldn’t place the voice it was familiar and it was safe.

He snuggled his head against the blankets and decided he’d just burrow right in.

“He is quite a snuggler, isn’t he?” the voice asked, amused.

“And he gets on my case about being a koala,” sniffed another voice, although similar amusement lined it.

“A what now?” 

“It’s a marsupial native to Earth, Australia in particular, although most people group it incorrectly into the bear family. They sort of hug trees with their whole body and, well, I sort of--”

Matt stopped listening as the first sentence began to percolate.

Koala?

_Katie?_

Matt blinked open his eyes, wincing at overbright white lights, but there was no mistaking the fact his little sister was next to him, one of her hands running over his back, and he was slumped forward in the arms of who he recognized now as Coran.

He blinked again.

The image stayed.

It began to clear more: Altean castle, some sort of pod like items staggered about and--

Pods!

Infirmary!

_Keith!_

And suddenly he wasn’t so comfortable.

The events getting him to the castle were still a bit hazy.

He remembered Keith telling him to rest and he must have fallen asleep in the stolen Galra ship as he’d woken up to a bunch of voices and hands and he remembered how much they’d _hurt_ as open wounds from the torture were bumped and jostled.

He remembered hearing Keith shouting, heard Katie crying and he’d forced sleep-crusted, heavy eyes open and had seen what he vaguely recognized as being the Castle of Lions and figures moving about.

He remembered not seeing Shiro.

He couldn’t say who had put him into the weird white suit but he’d gotten into one somehow and he’d been loaded into one of the Alteans’ coveted cryo-pods and Keith had been getting prepped to go into one too and…

Matt jerked his head to the right where he’d last seen Keith, unintentionally headbutting Coran.

The pod was empty.

The pod was _empty._

Matt tried to ask where Keith had gone but all that came out was an intelligent sounding _“mlergh”_ as his tongue did not seem to want to cooperate.

“Well, well, someone is waking up,” the adviser’s voice trickled down and Matt found himself being straightened up to rest on his own feet. “Give yourself a moment, my boy. Everything looks to be in order but you might experience some disorientation for a bit.”

Matt wanted to say he didn’t have a moment.

Keith was _gone._

Had he returned to the Blade?

Had he seen Shiro?

_Where was he?_

But before he could articulate any of that a small pair of arms wrapped about his waist and he felt a pair of glasses press uncomfortably into his chest with what could only be a sob.

And Matt found his own arms moving to wrap about the tiny shoulders and tug Katie in close.

He had another younger sibling to look after for the moment.

Because as strong as Katie was, as unbothered as she had seemed a moment ago, he could not imagine the sight he must have made to her when he was carried out of the ship, bloodied and broken and unable to offer any words of comfort.

She must have been so scared.

He felt Coran stepping back after giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze to give the two some privacy.

Matt swayed gently, both from still slightly shaky legs and because Katie had always found the motion comforting; he remembered when she was a baby how their parents would have to walk her for _hours_ around the house in their arms when she was being fussy to keep her calm.

“‘m…” he swallowed, tongue still thick but better. “‘m okay, Katie.”

She hugged him harder. 

Matt continued to gently rock them both, taking slow inventory of himself.

His left hand…

He carefully brought it up to card through Katie’s short locks, what were once _mangled_ fingers moving seamlessly without any pain. He could feel that the nails were still missing and he tried not to cringe at the memory of those coming off, but the human body was pretty resilient and he knew they’d come back eventually.

It was amazing though the Alteans’ pod had healed them as they had.

He couldn’t see any other skin -- between the suit and Katie wrapped just like the koala he’d teased around his waist -- but he didn’t feel the burns left behind from the Druids’ shock torture, nor the cuts from claws and knives and he would bet the scar he was worried about on his cheek had disappeared without a trace.

And his eye… he blinked, focusing on the top of Katie’s head and then lifting his gaze to pan the Altean infirmary.

No double vision, no blurriness.

Completely healed.

It was like it never happened.

Except…

Except it had. 

And there was no forgetting the fact that the Blades had planned to leave him there to die.

A casualty of war.

An acceptable sacrifice.

Their ridiculous mission before the man.

Which led him back to…

Matt shifted his hands to Katie’s shoulders and gently pushed her back and she released her near strangle grip, reaching a hand up to push his glasses to the top of her head and rub at her eyes.

“Hey,” he smiled down at her. He needed answers about Keith but if he knew anything (and he certainly did) he knew that Katie was probably not quite done with him yet and after scaring her like that she absolutely deserved a chance to speak.

She scowled up at him.

Ah. Yes. There it was. Probably fearsome to most but Matt had only ever found it endearing and his smile widened.

“You…” her hands balled into fists at her sides. “You… _jerk!”_

Matt saw the punch coming from over a mile away and he knew firsthand how much Katie’s hits hurt, but he didn’t move.

It was barely a tap against his chest. 

Matt’s smile of amusement fell and softened and he found himself gathering Katie back into his arms. 

“You jerk,” she sniffled, hands fisting now in the white suit he was wearing. “You…”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

“You… you were just going to, to… _leave?”_

She didn’t say it but Matt heard it anyway.

‘Leave me?’

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again. “I… I didn’t… I couldn’t…”

He didn’t know what he was trying to say.

If he hadn’t taken Plarion’s place it was possible they’d have gotten information out of him; information that could hurt Katie and so many others. 

It was also possible the Blades would have arrived soon enough to prevent it. Matt hadn’t known that though and he’d had to make a choice. 

He didn’t regret it. 

Especially with how it had ended, what he’d learned.

For an interrogation in which he had been literally in the chair, he was the one walking away with answers.

Even if they were ones he did not like. 

The only thing he did regret was hurting Katie. If… if he had been left for dead there…

He didn’t think he’d ever forgive himself for leaving her again.

“I had to,” he settled on. “I’m so sorry, Katie. But… but other people… _you,_ could have been hurt if I hadn’t.”

He felt Katie nod against his chest. “I know,” came the mumbled response. 

Matt blinked.

She did?

“Keith told us,” she continued. “About his mission. And… and I could figure out the rest.”

Of course she could.

And…

“You saw Keith?” he phrased it lightly.

A nod. “Yeah.” 

“Do you know where he is?”

Katie had always been more intune with computers than people, tended not to notice some more regular social cues.

But she tilted her head up to look at him and there was a question in her eyes along with a furrow of concern in her brow. Because while she might not follow emotions she did follow thoughts and two questions in a row about Keith?

“He’s in his old room,” she said slowly. “Coran told him he needed to get some sleep.” 

She didn’t say it either but Matt could tell she agreed, and for his sister, who would stay awake for days on end if consumed by a project, to notice and agree someone else could do with a little shuteye?

“What’s going on?” Katie's hands had migrated to her hips. “Is…” she swallowed, “is something wrong? Keith came out of the pod a few varga ago and he seemed okay, but…”

“Nothing is wrong-wrong,” Matt said.

At least he hoped not, but if the pod had finished (and still, holy fuck how did these things work?) and Coran had issued only a suggestion of rest (and Matt was grateful at least someone here was still looking out for Keith’s wellbeing) then physically he sounded like he was okay.

All the rest?

Matt supposed that depended on how a lot of things went down.

“But something is,” Katie pressed, her eyes narrowing as she tried to solve the still unknown problem in front of her.

Matt could be brutally honest.

Or he could deflect because he’d already hurt Katie enough.

He chose to go with the first because not talking about something had been the reason all of this had spiraled in the first place and it wouldn’t fix anything.

And things desperately needed fixed.

“When was the last time you talked to Keith?”

Katie’s brow furrowed. “Talked to…? Well, today when--”

“Before today,” Matt cut in. 

“Um…” 

The fact she was thinking on it even a few seconds later answered that question.

“Has _anyone_ talked to Keith in, say, the last month?” Matt asked. 

Katie said nothing although her eyes were widening and her mouth parting.

He could see she knew where he was going with this. 

He pressed on.

“Did anyone…” he swallowed, the words stuck in his throat, “tell him I was alive?”

“M-Matt--”

“And did anyone tell _me_ that Keith was up here?”

Tears were starting to bead in the corners of Katie’s eyes as she gave a numb, tiny shake of her head.

“I’m…” the word was hidden in a sob. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me you need to apologize to,” Matt said softly. 

Katie gave a jerk of her head. “I kn-know. I just… God…” she let out a low laugh that was anything but humorous. “We really fucked up, didn’t we?”

“It’s nothing we can’t fix,” Matt said. 

He knew they could at least fix this. 

The Shiro part…

He was still working on that. He hadn’t seen his supposed best friend at all and that spoke volumes. It should have been Shiro, not Coran, helping him out of the pod. It should have been Shiro here to soothe away Katie’s fears that her brother _had been tortured._

But he wasn’t.

And Matt doubted it was because he was checking on Keith (but if he was Matt was more than prepared to put his foot into his mouth and eat his words). 

He placed gentle hands on Katie’s shoulders, giving them a squeeze.

“Can you gather up your friends, Hunk and Lance? We’ll meet in the lou--”

His stomach gave a loud, violent grumble and Matt winced.

“Kitchen,” he changed his mind to, hoping there might be actual food and not that goo the Alteans were far too fond of in it. “And we’ll talk and we’ll fix this.”

“Yeah. Yeah, ten minutes?”

“Twenty?” Matt put forth and Katie nodded. He wanted to change into something other than this very itchy white suit and he also wanted to check on Keith.

Although…

“Can you point me in the direction of Keith’s room?” he asked, rubbing the back of his head. 

A few minutes later Matt was en route with a hand-drawn, color-coded map, trying very hard not to trip on the hem of the drawstring pants he’d been given.

His Rebel outfit had been tossed, Katie had explained, save for the armored chestplate and a few of the more durable pieces, but the rest… Lance was closest in size to Matt and he’d donated clothing to him, but even so the teen had a couple inches on Matt although he was far more slender so the shirt had been a bit of a snug fit and he was glad a hooded sweatshirt had been part of the pile as well. A pair of nice, thick socks completed it as while his boots were intact Matt had no desire to wear them with this ensemble.

He turned the map as he walked, the halls vaguely familiar but still strange to him, but Katie’s directions were as impeccable as ever and he found himself in a hallway full of closed doors. Three from the offshoot he counted, pausing outside of the one Katie had circled and coded in red for Keith. 

Matt raised a hand and knocked on it. 

No answer.

Matt chewed his lip. Keith was a light sleeper so if he hadn’t awoken to the knock he was either really exhausted or he wasn’t in there. Both were not good things but one was definitely worse than the other, especially as Matt had the fear that Keith would do as he’d done before.

He’d run.

It was like when Shiro had first brought Keith on campus and a complete jackass of an older student had gotten it into Keith’s head that he was ruining Shiro’s life and chances at Kerberos and the boy, barely fifteen, had fled and left behind only a tear-stained note and the jacket Shiro had bought him -- his first present since his dad had died, Shiro had confided to Matt later in near tears at how _unfair_ life had treated Keith all those years. 

Matt could still remember how _scared_ they had been and then how relieved when Shiro had caught up to the boy at the bus station before he could leave forever. 

And while there would be no disappearing like that… Matt liked to think he knew Keith a little bit.

And Keith, now healed and with Matt safe and someone who hated to cause others trouble, would shut down the earlier idea of going with Matt to the Rebels or returning to Voltron. He’d go back to the Blade of Marmora that had _abandoned him_ because it would be easier for everyone.

Fuck that.

Matt didn’t care what was easier. He cared about Keith and Keith was not going back to that organization. 

Matt knocked one more time, calling out a soft, “Keith,” at the closed door. 

Thirty ticks later there wasn’t a sound.

Matt reached out to the keypad and swiped it for entrance. The door slid open with a near silent _whoosh_ to show a dark room, sparse of anything.

Except for the figure curled up on the bed.

Matt’s breath matched the sound of the door as it slid shut behind him, the only light now from a small lamp on the nightstand. 

Keith had always hated the dark. 

Matt carefully walked closer, socked feet making no sound, to observe the boy on the bed. He’d changed, he noted, clothes no doubt left at the castle as the Blade didn’t really do casual days. And, his lips turned up, he recognized that jacket.

It finally fit as Shiro always said it would. 

But this close now he could see things that didn’t fit.

Like the _exhaustion_ painted on Keith’s face that wasn’t hidden behind a high-tension rescue and Matt’s impaired vision. 

Or the way he was trembling ever so.

Or how… how _small_ he looked, limbs tucked up against his body and curled up like a child.

“Oh, Keith,” Matt whispered.

Keith didn’t even twitch. 

He’d hoped to maybe bring the boy with him to the kitchen to talk to his friends, but there was no way he could. Not like this. 

Instead Matt cast his eyes about the room, landing on the closet in the corner. Folded on the top shelf were clean sheets and a blanket and he tugged the latter down, shaking it out. A gentle flip later and he’d settled it atop Keith. 

Keith let out a tiny sigh and stilled. 

Matt smiled.

Better.

“Be back soon,” Matt promised.

He just had a few people to talk with first.

He slipped from Keith’s room and turned his attention back to the map, following it and then following the smell of something _delicious._

He found the three kids gathered in the kitchen; Katie and Lance sitting at the counter on stools and Hunk at the stove, stirring the pot of deliciousness and his stomach let out an appreciative rumble, embarrassingly loud enough that all three heads turned in his direction.

“Uh,” his hand went to the back of his head. “My stomach says hello?”

“Matt--” Katie started and Matt held up a hand. 

“Let’s eat first, okay?”

She looked away but nodded.

The two boys looked just as uncomfortable but didn’t disagree and Matt felt guilt twist his formerly growling stomach. 

“Look,” he said softly, hopping up onto a stool next to Lance. “This isn’t some… lecture. I’m not here to yell or, or anything. I just want to talk and I think you all have some things to say too. But it’s been a long day, I’m pretty hungry and the food smells amazing and I cannot focus on anything without whatever that is inside me.”

That drew a weak chuckle from Hunk and Lance lost some of his tension. 

The only sound that followed was the clink of utensils as Hunk served them all -- some sort of hearty looking soup and a thick piece of bright pink bread -- and they ate.

Matt took one sip and was pretty sure he’d died and gone to heaven.

He inhaled the bowl and pushed it across the counter with an exaggerated British accent of, “Please, sir, can I have some more?”

Lance snorted that time and Katie rolled her eyes and Hunk was beaming at the reception to his food.

And just like that the silence no longer felt stiff.

“So,” Matt took a more adult-like sip of his soup, “what time is it anyway? How long was I in the pod thing?”

“About noon,” Lance answered.

Matt choked.

What?

He’d thought it was maybe late evening, possibly the wee hours of the morning.

Not the _next day?_

“You were in the pod for almost eight hours,” Katie said quietly, her hand tightening on her spoon. 

Oh.

Matt hadn’t thought his injuries had been that bad, but…

“You almost lost your eye,” Katie continued, still not looking at him but gazing at her half-empty bowl of soup. “Coran said it was touch and go since the pods don’t do so well with foreign magic. And your wounds… they were full of it.”

That would have been that nasty Druid shock thing. The gift that nearly kept on giving, apparently. 

“And… Keith?” he hedged.

“He was in there for… three hours, maybe?” Lance offered when no one else spoke. 

“He’s been out since about two this morning,” Hunk added quietly. “Coran got him to drink some tea that,” his lips quirked up into a ghost of a sad smile, “I think might have had a few extra herbs than Keith thought it did.”

Matt’s eyes widened.

That certainly explained a lot. And while perhaps not the method he’d have taken… he silently thanked the advisor again for looking out for Keith. 

Maybe… maybe what he wanted to ask of them wouldn’t be so far-fetched after all.

“I told you,” Katie let out a huff of that same not-humorous laughter that pulled Matt back, “he looked like he needed sleep.”

And with the topic switch back to Keith the room felt stiff again.

“What do you know about the mission?” Matt asked point blank. “What did Keith tell you?”

“Um…” Lance ticked off on his fingers. “A Rebel force was captured that had a really high-ranking commander in the Coalition as part of it. The Blades were sent to retrieve them. You and Keith got separated from the others so he stole a Galra cruiser. He took you back here because the cryo-pods are better than the Blades’ medical practices. But…” he looked up, meeting Matt’s eyes with far more cool logic than Matt had anticipated from him, “that’s not what happened, is it?”

“Partly,” Matt said. 

Now what did he tell them?

The truth.

They were not children anymore. They needed to see what the world was like out there, even amongst their allies.

They needed to look out for each other.

They needed to look out for Keith.

“But Keith and I were never separated from the others,” Matt continued. “The other Blades… they left after they retrieved Commander Plarion. I… I wasn’t with them.”

Katie’s hand bumped against his own and he gently threaded their fingers. 

“I’d taken Commander Plarion’s place as had he been interrogated in his condition… a lot of people could get hurt. No doubt the Blades learned of that upon their arrival but they… they considered me an acceptable loss.”

“No,” Hunk whispered, shaking his head.

But Matt could see the knowing in his eyes at what truth this was.

“Keith didn’t,” Matt said, squeezing Katie’s hand. “He didn’t know it was me at the time, but he still chose to remain behind to free me. He risked his life to save mine and the other Blades… they abandoned him too. Because that’s,” his voice grew harder, bitter, “that’s who the Blades are. They don’t care about their own; they care about the mission. And that’s…”

He looked up, gaze traveling about each teenager, “That’s where Keith is. Alone. On his own with a team that does not watch his back. And it is unacceptable.”

Heads were hanging now, no eyes able to meet his gaze.

“I asked Katie already, but I’m asking you two now. When did you last talk to Keith before today?”

Hunk gave a shake of his head, shoulders trembling.

Lance though…

“About two weeks ago,” he said, and he met Matt’s gaze. “We… we don’t really talk much, but I… I try to see how he is. That he’s… okay,” the last word was a whisper. 

Matt’s expression softened. 

“I’m glad,” he said quietly. “I’m sure you know this but Keith… he doesn’t have a lot of friends. He has trouble connecting with other people. And I know it meant the world to him to have someone checking in on him.”

Lance shook his head though. “It’s… it’s not enough, is it? He… he can’t talk about a lot of stuff so I don’t ask and he goes radio silent for weeks sometimes, but… but if he’d,” Lance’s breath caught, “he’d gotten hurt and his team left him behind he’d… he would have died. And we wouldn’t have…”

He swallowed thickly. “He’s… he’s not safe there. With the Blades.”

“He’s not,” Matt agreed quietly. “And it’s what I want to talk to you all about.”

Matt took a breath.

“I told Keith after we’d escaped I didn’t want him going back to the Blades. Even if we had, say, daily check-ins with him, which we can’t as you pointed out, Lance, since a lot of their missions are no-radio contact, we can’t protect him when he’s there. And no Blade is going to protect him. So… So I told Keith either he was coming back to the Rebels with me, or… or he was rejoining Voltron.”

Katie sucked in a harsh breath.

“We haven’t really talked about it beyond that,” Matt continued. “And if I know Keith, and I do, he’s going to resist both options but especially coming back here. Because from what little I got out of him… it sounds like things with Shiro and him might not be so… good.”

A different sort of quiet fell upon them then, none meeting his eyes.

It confirmed what Matt had feared.

Something had happened between his best friend and his little brother. 

“I heard that Keith was your Black Paladin,” he put forth. “Something Shiro wanted… before he went missing. _Again.”_

Katie winced.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked her gently. 

She shook her head. “I didn’t… it wasn’t…”

“It wasn’t important?” Matt filled in. 

“I’d just gotten you back,” she whispered. “All I could think about was you, Matt. And, and nothing else mattered. I was just…”

“I know,” Matt said softly, giving her hand another squeeze. “I know. And it’s why you didn’t mention Keith either?”

“I should have,” she whispered. “I, I should have _called_ him and told him too. He was looking too and I didn’t even… I’m a, a _horrible_ friend.”

“You are not,” he gave her a gentle shake. “There’s a lot going on up in here,” he tapped her head. “Things can get misplaced. Believe me,” his lips quirked up. “I know. All that matters is now that you know you make sure it doesn’t happen again. Keith was… Keith was _hurt._ And I don’t want to see him hurt like that again.”

Katie winced but nodded.

“Do you two… know each other?” Lance asked carefully. “From before?”

Ah.

Oops.

Matt felt his cheeks flush as here he was going all big brother mode and two thirds of his audience didn’t even fully understand.

“Yeah.” 

How much did he tell them about Keith? 

What would make them understand him best?

What would help Keith the most?

“I’m not going to go into particulars,” Matt said after a moment. “That’s for Keith to do if he ever wants to share. But… but I met Keith through Shiro because they were partnered together in a Big Brother program back when Keith was… fourteen? Yeah, fourteen,” he counted on his fingers. “Kid had obviously had some… bad luck,” if that’s what one could call abusive foster families, “in life but he was a fighter. Shiro took him under his wing and then pretty much took the program name literally. Brought Keith to live at the Garrison where I met him and while he’s always going to be Shiro’s little brother first… I wound up with one too.

“But this isn’t about me and Keith, not really,” Matt waved his free hand. “It’s about Shiro. Because the Shiro I know… he would never, ever, let Keith out of his sight in this war, let alone go to an organization like the Blades. So… what happened? Tell me.” He met each pair of eyes again. “Please.”

He needed to fix this.

And they told him, as unbiased on outside perspective as they could.

They said how Shiro had disappeared in the middle of a fight with Zarkon, just upped and vanished from the Black Lion. How they’d struggled to make do with four Lions but they had needed five. Keith had let drop that Shiro had wanted him to take command of Voltron -- Lance had flushed a bit at that but Matt hadn’t pursued -- and ultimately the Black Lion had accepted him.

Allura had then taken over as the Blue Paladin and Lance had shifted to Red -- which made the armor color he’d seen Lance wear make far more sense now -- and while they hadn’t been very good to start and Keith hadn’t been the best leader they had learned and they had grown.

And then they’d found Shiro. 

He’d escaped a Galra prison but other than that they didn’t know much. The Paladins had remained in their new Lions with Keith as leader, but…

But Shiro and Keith didn’t always see eye to eye. 

It got worse when Shiro tried to rejoin Black and the Lion… the Lion hadn’t allowed Shiro in.

After that, Lance’s voice had been a whisper, Shiro tried to lead from the backlines, taking on the role of leader even though, technically, Keith was their leader and he’d been getting much better at it.

It…

It hadn’t been good. 

Keith had started to spend more and more time away from the castle and on missions with the Blades. 

Shiro became harsher. Less warm. Less understanding. 

There were too many Paladins and not enough Lions and something had to give. Lance had looked guiltily down at his clasped hands then but hadn’t said anything.

Matt felt a roll of something he couldn’t quite place at that. 

It came to a head when Keith was on a Blade mission and they’d desperately needed to form Voltron. The Black Lion had lowered her particle barrier to Shiro, granting him the role of Black Paladin once more and…

And that had made Keith’s decision. He’d announced he would go to the Blades and Shiro could retake over as the leader of Voltron and…

And that had been it.

Almost four months now and they’d barely spoken to Keith during that time; seeing him occasionally at Coalition mission briefings and Lance did videochat a few times and Katie said she had sent him a few messages and Hunk one time a care package of food but otherwise…

Nothing.

No contact.

And nothing from Shiro that they’d seen.

Matt was darkly relieved that he wasn’t the only one starting to look and feel horrified.

“I don’t understand,” Lance said quietly. 

“Neither do I,” Matt said. “But I will.”

Because he was going to talk to Shiro. 

And he was going to fix whatever it was that had broken. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Commission fic (10k) for JaymzNonoel for a sequel to earlier fic exploring more in depth the aftermath; won't go into details here as I don't want to spoil it ;)  
> If you are enjoying the fic, please leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!). Emotional support and validation for authors is super important and your comments mean the world. **_Please, please, please_** don’t just be a page click or a kudo. Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below :)  
> 


	2. Two

Before he spoke to Shiro though, there was someone else Matt had to address first. 

And so he found himself following Katie’s directions this time to a conference room that Princess Allura had taken over for Coalition correspondence. 

To his relief the princess was there, a large number of scrolls and missives and a several holographic projections cast along the walls and table, and although her attention was on her work, Allura did not miss his arrival and looked up with a soft smile.

“Matt,” she greeted, inclining her head and had it been any other circumstance Matt knew his heart would be trying to beat out of his chest, “I am so grateful to see you awake and well. How are you feeling?”

“Your pods are pretty amazing, Princess,” he answered. “Thank you for allowing me to use them.”

Her eyes narrowed ever so, reading lines Matt hadn’t said. 

“You are always welcome to whatever we may offer,” she said slowly. “My home is always open to you.”

“Is it open to Keith?”

Her eyes widened and Matt realized belatedly that blunt may finally not have been the best tactic here. 

“My home is always open to my friends,” she said, an edge to her voice, “of which I consider Keith to be.”

Matt winced. Yeah. He’d messed that one up. While he was far better at talking to people than Katie diplomacy was not high on his skill list.

“Princess--”

“Sit,” she pointed at the chair opposite herself.

Matt did so.

“Princess,” he lowered his voice, gaze directed at one of the missives on the table. “I’m sorry. That… that came out wrong.”

“I would hope it did,” she sniffed, but there was no cruelty in it. “Matt,” her tone softened. “What is it you are trying to say?”

Matt swallowed. “If… if Keith were to leave the Blades… would he be welcome here?”

Allura’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I do not understand the question in its context. I had not heard from Keith nor Kolivan that he expressed interest in leaving the Blades of Marmora and returning to the castle.”

“He hasn’t,” Matt said. “But I… I don’t want him to go back there.”

And he gave as abbreviated a version as he could of the events that had transpired with his capture and subsequent rescue.

Allura was quiet as Matt finished, although he could tell she was not as impassive as her face showed from the crack splintered across the datapad she had picked up during Matt’s briefing. 

“I have never cared for how the Blade of Marmora chose to operate their missions,” she said quietly, “but I do understand. The Galra… they are a proud people, Matt. And the Blades of Marmora even moreso as they have seen the ruin their own kinsmen have caused and they feel not just a desire but a duty to correct it. The Galra way has always been victory or death and it is one that the Blade too have embraced, even if they have repurposed it to their belief of the mission before the man. And Keith… he knows this.”

Matt held his tongue as Allura gave a tiny sigh, learning his lesson about jumping in.

“I speak for myself when I say this: Keith is always welcome to return to the castle. He will always have a home here if he so wishes it. But… but I cannot speak for the Lions of Voltron. They choose their Paladins of their own volition. And,” jewel-tone eyes met Matt’s, “right now all five Lions have chosen their Paladins.”

Matt’s stomach twisted.

He…

Hadn’t thought of that. 

But still.

“Have you noticed anything… different about Shiro?” he asked carefully. 

Allura inclined her head. 

She raised her hand before Matt could follow up. “War changes people, Matt. And Shiro… he has been through much. Perhaps he is different from those experiences, but we must ask ourselves if different is a bad thing or if it is just that… different.”

Matt frowned.

He understood what Allura was saying, but she didn’t know Shiro, not like he did (like he had). She didn’t know how important Keith was to Shiro. 

She didn’t see how much Shiro had hurt Keith.

“I pose this question for you to consider as well,” Allura said. “Would the Black Lion have chosen someone not worthy of her power to be her Paladin?”

Matt honestly didn’t know much about the Voltron Lions other than they were very, very, very old and very, very, very powerful.

And…

God, he couldn’t believe he was going to say this.

“Wasn’t Zarkon once the Black Paladin?”

Allura’s eyes widened.

“Look, I’m not… not trying to cause trouble,” Matt said. “I’m not trying to make Keith the Black Paladin again. Or even the Red. I just… I’m worried about him, Princess. I’m worried about Shiro. Something isn’t right and I trust my gut far more than a giant metal Lion, who, as history showed us, has been wrong before.”

Allura’s lips were a thin line, her knuckles white on the tablet. 

Matt wasn’t going to apologize this time though. He’d said what needed said.

“Are you suggesting,” her voice was low and dangerous, “that Shiro is going to betray us?”

It was Matt’s turn to feel suckerpunched.

That…

That hadn’t been…

“No,” he shook his head. “No. Of course not. Shiro would, would never do that.” And that Matt knew and believed with all of his heart. 

“Then there is nothing further to discuss.”

Her tone was final. 

Matt bowed his head.

That hadn’t gone as he’d intended (what had he intended? He wasn’t even sure now), but what more was there to say? Allura was right; the Lions chose the Paladins. Shiro would never turn on them. 

And so...

Matt stood, the chair screeching back on the floor.

“Thank you for your time and your assistance.”

“Matt--”

“I’ll see myself out.”

A slender hand caught his wrist before he could exit, far stronger than it appeared and Matt was jerked to a stop.

“I will speak to Shiro,” Allura said softly. “He is my friend too and perhaps… perhaps a friend is what he needs most right now.”

And now Matt felt like the lowest of the low.

He hadn’t gone out to vilify Shiro, not at all, but that’s… that’s what this was starting to sound like. It was just… Keith had been so _hurt_ and Shiro had been the main reason for it and even though some details could slide through the cracks -- like Katie forgetting to tell him about Keith -- he had no idea how Shiro could have forgotten that.

But before he went and assumed the worst...

“I’ll talk to him,” Matt said. “I, I need to talk to him. But,” he risked a glance up, “if… if you could too…”

“I shall,” Allura promised. “I care about all members of Voltron, present _and_ past, and do not wish to see anyone hurt, whether it be unintentional or not.”

“Thank you,” Matt said again, although this time it felt more genuine. 

He bid Allura a softer farewell and followed her advice to check the bridge for Shiro; it was where he could normally be found these days when not actively on missions.

His steps were slow as he walked, trying to put together a puzzle that didn’t have all of the pieces. 

What he had were facts.

And the facts were: 

Keith had been the Black Paladin in Shiro’s absence and had ultimately been supported by the team;

Keith had also been a Blade member during that time;

Shiro had returned from a Galra prison but no one knew any more details than that and Shiro had not shared;

Keith had relinquished his position to Shiro after the Black Lion re-accepted him and permanently joined the Blade;

Shiro had not mentioned to Matt that Keith was in space nor vice-versa.

He also had assumptions he needed to clarify:

Shiro had not been in any contact except possibly Coalition business with Keith since he’d left;

Shiro had not argued Keith leaving to join the Blade;

Shiro was acting differently, according to the three teenagers, and even Allura had noted he had changed although as pointed out it didn’t mean it was a bad thing.

Matt just…

Needed to talk to him. Shiro had the answers, Matt just needed to hear them.

And what perfect timing, he’d reached the bridge. 

He took a deep breath, knocked on the open doorframe, and strolled in.

Shiro was standing at a wide table, maps and other documents spread out, but he looked up at the sound and a smile crossed his face. “Matt,” he greeted, setting down the file he’d been holding. “Good to see you up.”

“Shiro,” Matt returned the smile, tracing his eyes over Shiro’s face. Other than the different haircut -- of which Matt absolutely couldn’t judge him over -- he looked exactly as Shiro should. 

He didn’t look like someone who would have hurt Keith.

Shiro turned, arms opening, and Matt returned the hug; not as tight as their first reunion but still what he remembered, followed by Shiro squeezing his shoulder as Matt stepped back. 

It didn’t fit with what he had been expecting. 

And it didn’t make him forget Keith’s desperate hug on the floor of that Galra ship or the way small shoulders had trembled. 

“You heard what happened?” Matt opted to go for casual. 

Shiro’s expression fell. “Yeah. God, I’m so sorry, Matt. Are you… you okay?”

Matt looked down at his hands, the only part of him that had an echo of a remainder of the torture as his nails were all still missing on the left one. 

He’d been trying really, really hard not to focus on that whole bit, trying to maintain a strong front for Katie, but at Shiro’s question, so soft and concerned and _exactly how his best friend was supposed to be,_ made his breath hitch. 

He had been tortured.

He’d almost been left for dead. 

He _would have_ if it hadn’t been for Keith.

“Y-yeah,” and that came out shakier than he wanted, his hands curling into fists so he didn’t have to see his missing nails.

It had all ended well. He hadn’t given into fear. He hadn’t broken.

He was fine.

And he would continue to be. 

Now he had to make sure everyone else he loved was too.

“Yeah,” he said, steadier, meeting Shiro’s eyes. “I’m okay, thanks to… thanks to Keith.”

Shiro nodded. “I heard from the Coalition what happened. Keith broke the Blades’ rules but… but I’m glad he did. God, Matt, I couldn’t imagine if…seeing you in the pod--”

“You visited me?” Matt interrupted.

Nothing was making sense.

“Yeah, of course. Although let me say,” Shiro gave a chuckle, “it is beyond weird to see you and not hear you.”

“Ha ha,” Matt deadpanned although he found his lips pulling up.

This…

This was right. Shiro disappointed in rule breaking but understanding sometimes it had to be done. Shiro being concerned and upset about Matt’s injuries.

So if this was right...

Where had it gone wrong?

“You saw Keith then too?” Matt put forward. “He got hurt pretty bad on the mission.”

“In the pod,” Shiro said, “but not since he got out. I think he’s sleeping still.”

Still nothing to indicate anything was wrong-wrong.

Except…

“So,” Matt rocked on his heels. “I have to tell you, I did not expect to see Keith as my rescuer. Had no idea he was up in space actually.”

Shiro looked puzzled. “You didn’t?”

“Uh, I only found out my sister was up here a few weeks ago,” Matt said, still trying to keep things light. “And she forgot to mention it and the others didn’t know we’re so… close, to have considered it.”

A frown was pulling down Shiro’s face. “I guess I… forgot too.” Confusion was not normally a look Matt saw on Shiro but there was no mistaking it. “I really didn’t… tell you?”

Matt gave a small shake of his head. 

Shiro’s hand went to the side of his head and metal fingers pressed against it, turning already pale flesh white at the pressure. “I… I can’t believe I didn’t…”

“Hey, hey,” Matt gently wrapped his hand about Shiro’s wrist and gave it a tug. 

It wasn’t all right, not at all, and he hated to see Shiro like this but…

But Shiro being upset was far better than the indifference Matt had been bracing himself for, even though this still wasn’t right because there was no way Shiro should have been able to forget something of that importance.

Head injury, maybe? No one knew what had happened that second time or even, really, the first time in the arena. 

“Well,” Shiro let out a self-depreciating laugh, “surprise. Keith is here. In space. With the Blades of Marmora.” 

“Can… can we talk about that, actually?” 

Shiro’s smile turned bitter. “You mean the fact he’s Galran?”

Matt’s eyes widened.

Shiro thought _Matt_ was going to take that badly.

“A little bummed he didn’t turn purple and fuzzy for maximum cuddle capabilities, but otherwise? No. Not about that.”

Matt hadn’t really been aware Shiro had been tense but all of it seemed to go right out of him at Matt’s response. 

Another mark in the this-is-not-making-sense-because-it-makes-too-much-sense category.

“I wanted to talk about Keith being _in_ the Blade and not… not with Voltron.”

Shiro didn’t so much as blink at the question.

“I don’t really know what there is to talk about,” Shiro said. “Keith expressed an interest in joining them fulltime and since I’d… returned,” he paused on the word, a subtle crease in his brow, “and could pilot the Black Lion there was no need for him to continue to split his attentions between the two groups.”

“I heard you wanted Keith to be the Black Paladin,” Matt said. “And we both know he’d be amazing at it, Shiro. He _was_ amazing. Once the kid puts his mind to something he doesn’t give up.”

“He was good,” Shiro said, and Matt didn’t know if he was imagining it because he was looking for cues that may or may not be there, but there was a distinct lack of pride in those words, “but Keith never wanted to be in a leadership role. We both know that,” he tossed back. 

And point. 

But that had been the Keith they’d known earlier on, a foster kid used to being tossed aside. Keith had really grown up from what Matt had seen and as Katie and her friends had said while it hadn’t been the smoothest transition they’d all grown and learned from it. Keith _could_ be a leader and a damn good one. 

“So he went to the Blades?”

Shiro raised an eyebrow at the redundancy of the question.

Matt rephrased it.

“So you let him go to the Blades?”

Shiro frowned. “Why wouldn’t I? He’s not a kid, Matt. He doesn’t need my permission.”

“Shiro, you do know what their whole organization believes in, right? Mission before the man?”

Shiro’s arms were crossed now.

Defensive?

Confrontational?

“What exactly are you trying to say, Matt?” he asked. “You think he shouldn’t be there?”

“Damn right,” Matt scowled back. 

“The Blades are our allies--”

“And allies are supposed to watch our backs,” Matt interrupted. “The Blades don’t, Shiro. You know they don’t. They’ll always put the mission above personal safety--”

“They are trying to end a war--”

“And they’ll do it while crawling over the bodies of their comrades!” Matt’s voice had risen to a near shout. “It’s _Keith,_ Shiro. _Keith._ And he’s out there with people like that who don’t give a damn about him.”

“Kolivan has assured me--”

“Bullshit,” Matt swore, swiping a hand through the air. “He can’t make those promises, Shiro, and you know it. And he didn’t! Did he tell you in your briefing what happened yesterday? How the Blades were going to leave me, their ally, behind? How Keith didn’t agree so they _left him behind too?”_

“He has an obligation,” Shiro said, voice still far too even for what they were discussing. “He pledged his duty to the Blades--”

“They _abandoned_ him, Shiro,” Matt growled. “They left him. They left me. They don’t care--”

“And has sworn his allegiance,” Shiro talked right over him, “to defend the universe--”

“Do you even hear yourself? Shiro, come on, _listen to me.”_

“--and Keith understands the risks that come with that. He’s protecting--”

“You’re supposed to protect him!” Matt roared, words ripping out of his throat and his hands clenching into trembling fists at his sides. “You’re supposed to protect him, Shiro!”

The bridge rang with silence.

“You’re supposed to protect him,” Matt repeated, barely a whisper. Tears blurred his vision as he stared at Shiro. 

He still didn’t miss the clenched jaw, the set eyes.

This wasn’t…

This wasn’t Shiro now.

What had…

What had happened to him?

“Keith does not need my protection,” Shiro said lowly. “He’s proven himself more than capable of protecting himself and others and he is a valuable asset to the Blade of Marmora.” His gaze narrowed. “This was Keith’s decision. He joined the Blades on his own volit--”

“Did he?” Matt interrupted, blood boiling in his veins. “Or did you want to be the Black Paladin that badly?”

Shiro’s eyes flashed and Matt startled backwards as the barest hint of red was reflected in dark charcoal gray.

What the--?

He blinked but it was gone.

Shiro wasn’t though, nor the smoldering stare. 

“How dare you,” came the low growl. 

“How dare I?” Matt straightened back up, meeting Shiro’s hot gaze. “Shiro, please, _listen to yourself._ Do you hear that? That’s… that’s not the Shiro I know. The Shiro I know was willing to give up _Kerberos_ if it meant Keith’s happiness. The Shiro I know would want to make sure, above all else, that Keith was _safe._ You promised him that. You promised him a home, a brother. You wanted the world for the kid, and him being the Black Paladin, and supported by his team? You should have been _proud,_ Shiro. You should have supported him and stood by him and helped him _grow._ But… but you didn’t.”

“What would you know?” Shiro snapped. “You weren’t here either, Matt. You didn’t even know your own sister was a Paladin, that I was, even though you had the resources to do so. You’ve got your head in your own world and you see and hear what you want to. You want to think me some bad person because I didn’t force Keith to stay here when he didn’t want to lead? When he wanted to find out more about his heritage? When he wanted to find his _mom?”_

Matt felt suckerpunched. 

That wasn’t…

But…

There was truth in Shiro’s words, that Matt had to acknowledge even if it hurt, even if it brought up his own shortcomings because even though he’d had to go to ground he could have, should have, kept looking for Shiro (even though he’d had absolutely zero idea Katie would wind up here; that message at his grave left behind for his dad).

So he would acknowledge that, that the words were true.

But Shiro?

Shiro was wrong.

Shiro was not cruel. Even when he had every right to push back, to get angry, to swear, he didn’t. He made that choice, he chose to be the bigger person.

And right now?

Right now he had not. 

War changed people, that was true.

But… but this...

Matt swallowed. 

“Answer one question for me,” he said softly, “and I’ll take back everything I said. Did you, even once, since Keith left reach out to him? Did you check up on him? Did… did you tell him how much you love him?”

Shiro stared.

He did not answer. 

Matt felt something in his heart twist.

“ _Why_?” he whispered.

Shiro opened his mouth.

And paused.

And that same confusion from earlier trickled across his face.

“I… I don’t know.”

Matt could have given into anger, could have demanded a real answer.

But Shiro looked so _lost_ in that moment.

He didn’t know this Shiro either.

“What happened in that prison?” Matt asked instead. “The second time?”

Because it sounded like even after the Arena, even after whatever the Galra had forced him to become, he had still been Shiro.

But after that...

“I…”Shiro’s prosthetic moved back to his head, pressing against it. “I… I don’t…”

The anger was draining rapidly from Matt as he watched Shiro knead his head, expression pained.

Confused.

_Wrong._

Matt stepped forward and reached up, prying Shiro’s hand away again. 

Red marks were left behind.

“Why are you doing that?” he asked softly.

“I…” Shiro sounded so _young._ “I don’t know. My, my head hurts and…”

Traumatic brain injury? Druid magic? Any of those things -- horrible as they were -- would explain the abnormal moods, the confusion, the fact he’d _forgotten about Keith._

It made the most sense.

“I think you need to see Coran,” Matt said quietly. “Get checked out by the pods--”

“I’m fine,” Shiro batted Matt’s hand away, backing up a few paces and hunching over, shoulders curled in like he was in pain.

“Shi--”

“I’m fine,” he repeated, harder. “Drop it.”

“Shi--”

_“Drop it.”_

Matt did, his outstretched hand falling too. 

“Okay,” he whispered. 

He backed up. “Take… take care of yourself, Shiro.”

And he left before Shiro could see the tears forming in his eyes.

He’d talk to Coran later. Maybe the older man could convince Shiro he needed help, that something was _wrong._ But right now Matt knew it was time for him to withdraw as his words weren’t getting through. 

It did make his decision though. Even if Allura had given the greenlight, even if Keith’s friends sounded like they were going to make far more of an effort to be there for him, Matt did not want Keith staying at the Castle of the Lions. Not until Shiro was better because right now he would only hurt Keith. 

Which meant…

Keith was going to become a Rebel. 

Matt liked the sound of that and he knew Olia would have no issues with it. 

But first he still needed to talk to Keith.

Because Shiro had been right on one front. Matt didn’t know all that had happened and Keith _had_ joined the Blades at one point on his own part-time which meant he _had_ wanted to be there. And Shiro had been right too that Keith wasn’t a child, not anymore, and he could make his own decisions.

And Matt wanted this to be Keith’s decision.

Even if…

Even if he didn’t like the outcome. 

Matt found his way back to Keith’s room and gave the door another solid knocking.

No answer once more.

Matt invited himself in, deciding he’d be having another conversation with Coran too about his herb usage.

He froze in the doorway.

Because Keith…

Keith was gone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (And since I saw a few questions on this; yes, this is canon timeline so this is Kuron!Shiro. Thought that was obvious given his actions towards Keith mentioned in the first fic and the timeline notes (mid-season four) and how even though canon fucks up their own plotlines I always do my best to adhere to and work with them, but I guess not ^^; Hopefully that's obvious now following this chapter :)) 
> 
> If you are enjoying the fic, please leave a comment below detailing what you liked about it (the small details make my day!). Emotional support and validation for authors is super important and your comments mean the world. **_Please, please, please_** don’t just be a page click or a kudo. Thank you! I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below :)
> 
> (Like my works? Want to read more? Find details on my [Tumblr, icypantherwrites](http://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com/)).


	3. Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **(Like my works? Want to read even more? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)**

He had to be in the castle, Matt told himself. He wouldn’t just… just take off without saying goodbye.

Right?

He found his feet tripping over themselves back to the kitchen, but it was empty of teenagers. 

Allura was still in the conference room he observed after a quick peek, but no one else.

He dug his phone out of his pocket and punched out a quick message to Katie.

_Hey, where’d you guys go? Is Keith with you?_

He saw it delivered.

Saw it read.

No response.

 _Katie,_ he began to type. _Please—_

She responded before he could finish.

_Red’s hangar._

Matt assumed she meant they were all there. 

Why though?

His stomach was twisting again with something he couldn’t entirely describe but first and foremost was relief.

Keith was still here.

 _How do i get there?_ he texted back. _I’m outside the conference room._

A minute later a crudely drawn map was sent to him and Matt took off at a brisk trot.

He found three of them in the hangar — Katie, Hunk and Lance.

They were all standing outside the Red Lion.

The Red Lion who had her particle barrier raised.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out who might be inside the Lion. 

Lance, Matt knew, could probably force his way through since he was the Red Paladin. But he was standing outside, hands wrapped about himself in a hug, and biting his lip. Katie and Hunk looked just as worried.

“What happened?” Matt’s voice echoed in the chamber where his silent socked feet had not and in scary tandem all three heads looked as one to him. It would have been amusing in any other circumstance, but not now.

The three exchanged looks before Lance inclined his head and Katie took a breath, apparently their elected spokesperson.

“We heard you,” she said. Her eyes met Matt’s. “You and Shiro.”

Matt’s heart stuttered.

What?

“Keith woke up and came to the kitchen,” her voice was level, like she was doing a debrief. Her trembling hands gave her away. “He was looking for Shiro. We said he was probably on the bridge and we all went with just…” she looked away then. “Just in case. And…”

“What…” Matt licked his lips, mouth suddenly dry and his head light, “what did you hear?”

“Enough?” Katie shrugged although Matt knew the gesture was anything but indifferent. Her voice lowered. “Keith… Keith ran when Shiro didn’t answer your question. About, about reaching out. About how much he…” her breath hitched. “About how much Shiro loves him.”

God.

Oh God.

“Something’s…” Lance’s voice was soft but steady even as he phrased the words as a question. “Something’s wrong with Shiro. Isn’t it?”

Matt gave a jerky bob of his head. “I, I think so.”

“What do we do?” Hunk asked, hands wringing inside one another.

“I need to talk to Keith.”

That was first and foremost. 

Everything else could wait.

“Red won’t let us in,” Katie said. “Lance said he could try, but… but we didn’t want to use force and Keith won’t answer us.”

Matt nodded his understanding and stepped to directly face the large Lion. “Keith?” he called up. “Keith, please. We need to talk.”

And _something_ pressed against Matt’s mind and he jumped backwards with a shout.

“That’s Red,” Lance told him. 

He could feel that it was. There was a fire — warm and hot, soothing and raging — all at once, a passion, a fierceness, a protectiveness, that made him reel. He’d known the Lions were in their own way alive, but this…

This was…

He reached a hand up, feeling the same heat pulse beneath his hand from the barrier.

And it vanished.

He was being allowed inside.

“Go,” Katie gave him a gentle shove from behind. 

Matt didn’t need any further urging.

He entered the Lion not through her mouth but some type of cargo compartment that opened on her side and made his way to the front where Katie had shown him on a tour of the Green Lion the cockpit was.

Keith was curled up in the pilot’s chair.

He looked so _small._

“Hey,” Matt said softly, stepping over the threshold and feeling that hot brush against his mind.

A warning.

That if he hurt Keith…

 _‘I won’t,’_ he silently promised. ‘ _Never.’_

The heat withdrew. 

Matt stepped around and crouched down in front of the chair, hands braced on the armrests but otherwise not touching Keith.

“Hey,” he said again. “Ke—”

Keith lunged without any warning, arms nearly strangling Matt as they wrapped around and Matt fell to the ground with a thump he didn’t even feel as he returned the desperate embrace.

“Shh, shh,” he murmured, gently rocking them both just as he’d done for Katie not even an hour earlier.

It felt like an eternity.

Keith didn’t cry, no tears stained Matt’s borrowed shirt. But he could feel him trembling, breaths heavy even though it was clear Keith was trying to control them.

“It’s been a hell of a day, huh?” Matt asked softly. Keith made a choking noise and pressed his face even more into Matt’s chest and neck.

Matt continued to hold him even after his legs began to go numb and his back started to ache and the cold metal from the Lion that really ought to be warm in Matt’s opinion soaked into the seat of his pants.

Keith finally roused himself though, pulling away with a soft ‘sorry’ as he rubbed a hand across red but still dry eyes.

“Nothing to apologize for,” Matt said, shifting carefully to a cross-legged sit on the floor opposite Keith as he knew they weren’t going anywhere yet. “You doing okay?”

A tiny shrug.

It had been a stupid question.

“Leg better?” 

That drew a nod. “Yeah.” His eyes lifted. “Is, is your hand—?”

“Yup,” Matt thrust it forward, still not able to look at it but it moved and was whole and that was what mattered. “Hand, eye, the whole kit and kaboodle that makes up the incredible being known as Matt Holt is fully intact and operational.”

“I’m…” Keith’s breath hitched but he met Matt’s eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Me too,” Matt said quietly. “And I owe my life to you. Ah ah,” he held his hand up as Keith went to say otherwise, “there’s no use arguing. We both know the truth.”

The words hung.

“Did Shiro,” the name got stuck in Matt’s throat. “Did he ever… ever contact you. Once?”

Keith gave a very small shake of his head. 

“Did… did you reach out to him?”

Matt’s heart broke as Keith nodded. “I sent him a, a few messages. Video calls. But he… he never returned them. And I…” Keith’s hands fisted atop his legs. “I thought I’d… I’d done something wrong.”

“You didn’t do _anything_ wrong,” Matt stressed. “You didn’t, Keith. I promise you didn’t. And I’m not going to make excuses for Shiro, but… but I think something happened, here,” he brought his hand to his head, “the last time he was with the Galra.”

Keith’s eyes widened. 

A touch of hope entered them.

Matt understood completely.

“I tried to get him to see Coran and he didn’t want to but, but I’m going to tell Coran anyway. See if there’s something… something we can do.”

Because the Galra had ruined Shiro’s life enough. Matt would not allow them to take away any more of it. 

“You… you really think…?”

“I know Shiro,” Matt said firmly. “And Shiro, _our_ Shiro, would never, ever say those things. He would never,” he rested his hand atop one of Keith’s, “throw you aside. He loves you, Keith. The two of you are family. He’s just… I think he’s just a little lost right now.”

“I, I need to see him,” Keith scrambled to his feet. 

Matt got up too, resisting the urge to tell Keith no because he could not bear to see Keith hurt again.

Because...

Because if anyone could get through to Shiro it would be Keith.

“Can you…?” Keith trailed off. 

He’d never been good at asking for help. Not pride, as many assumed, but instead years of rejection, of cruel laughs and mockery were what kept him quiet.

“Do you want me to come with?” Matt asked gently. 

Keith nodded.

“All right then.”

They exited the Red Lion, a gentle heat almost caressing Matt and he patted the Lion’s paw as he passed in return, to find the three teenagers still gathered outside. 

“We’re going to talk to Shiro,” Matt said, not surprised when the announcement was met with wide eyes and disbelief. “I think it would be best if this was a private conversation.”

“We understand,” Lance said quietly. He still stepped forward and placed a cautious hand on Keith’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything, just gave it a squeeze, but Keith lifted his head from where it was hanging and managed a small smile. It prompted an apparent group hug as Hunk and Katie moved forward to ensconce Keith between them.

“Thanks, guys,” Keith murmured.

Matt pressed a kiss to the top of Katie’s head as they disengaged, giving her a soft smile that she returned.

Things were already getting better.

They didn’t speak as they walked to the bridge, Keith’s posture ramrod straight and his eyes forward. But with every step it looked less like he was bracing himself and more like he was going to fight.

His fire was back.

Keith paused right before the rounded the last corner that opened to the bridge and Matt nearly bumped into him. 

“Matt?” his voice was soft but steady, same as amethyst eyes as they met Matt’s. “Thank you.”

And without further ado Keith strode onto the bridge and Matt followed.

Shiro was still there, still looking at diagrams and maps, but even from the distance Matt could see something was different.

He was shaking. 

And as Keith called out his name and Shiro lifted his head something else became clear.

Shiro had been crying.

“Keith,” the name was a breath and Shiro dropped the tablet he’d been holding with a clatter. He stumbled forward.

And a moment later he had Keith wrapped up in his arms.

Keith held stiff for all of a moment.

And then he slumped in the embrace, his arms coming around to tightly wrap about Shiro’s waist.

Matt hung back, observing the moment with sad eyes.

This was right, but he knew it wasn’t going to last. 

Not forever. 

But for right now… for right now he was relieved.

That was a proper hug. And they had both very, very badly needed it.

Shiro pulled away first but his hands shifted up to Keith’s shoulders, holding him in place.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro whispered. “God, I’m, I’m so sorry, Keith. I don’t know what… what’s gotten into me. I just… God,” he leaned forward, pressing his forehead to Keith’s. “I’m so sorry.”

“‘s okay,” Keith mumbled, his eyes closed.

A tear was finally making its way down his cheek.

“It’s not. I, I hurt you, Keith. I didn’t mean to, God, I didn’t, but I did. And I don’t know… I don’t know _why_.”

“I think…” Keith opened his eyes, gazing upwards. “I think you need to see Coran.”

Shiro flinched.

He pulled away.

Keith followed, now he the one reaching out and his hands wrapped around Shiro’s prosthetic.

Which had been angling for his head again, Matt noted.

“Shiro, _please.”_

“I don’t—”

“You do,” Keith interrupted. “Just… just a quick exam.”

“I can’t,” and Shiro trembled.

His arm twitched in Keith’s grip, like it was trying to break free. 

“Why not?” Keith asked, voice gentle. 

It was a complete role-reversal and Matt felt dizzy by it.

Shiro just shook his head.

Matt desperately tried to connect dots. 

Head injury.

Galra.

Druids.

Druid magic.

Druid magic that had…

His eyes cut to the prosthetic.

That had been forced onto Shiro.

Who had been the Druids’ test subject.

Who had been...

“Is it the exam table?” the question was out before Matt could think it over.

Shiro flinched.

Bingo.

Matt felt like an idiot as the answer to everything burst to the surface.

PTSD.

Shiro was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. It would explain… explain _everything._ The behavior changes, the mood swings, possibly the headaches. It could even explain the memory gaps, the forgetfulness because if he associated something — Keith, possibly — with something that had happened his mind could be trying to protect him.

PTSD _and_ Druid magic were not a good combination.

“Oh, Shiro,” Matt murmured and Keith’s grip had tightened on Shiro’s prosthetic, both hands wrapped around it now. 

“I’m sorry,” Shiro whispered. 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Keith said, an echo of Matt’s earlier words to him. “I just… I just want you to be okay. And that’s…”

Keith took a breath.

“That’s why I’m going to go back to the Blades.”

Shiro startled and Matt’s mouth dropped.

What?

“Keith—”

“I know you don’t want me to,” Keith interrupted Matt. “And I… I really appreciate it, Matt. I do. But… but Shiro is Voltron’s Black Paladin. And having me here… it’s confusing. For everyone. Shiro is their leader now. He’s _always_ been their leader. I was just… just holding it until he came back.”

“Keith,” Shiro whispered. 

“You were right. I… I don’t want to be leader. Not really. It’s not for me. I’m too,” his lips quirked into a ghost of a smile, “reckless to be in that position.”

“You’re too reckless to be with the Blades too,” Matt said, throat thick. “Damnit, Keith. At least here, or, or with the Rebels, we’ll watch your back when you go do stupid crazy shit. They won’t. They _didn’t.”_

“I know,” Keith said softly. “But… but if I’m not there then…” 

Then Matt would never have been rescued. 

Matt couldn’t even begin to imagine how many others Keith had helped by disobeying the rules, by not always putting the mission first.

Reckless didn’t begin to describe it. 

“And the Blades…” Keith swallowed. “They’re the best lead to finding my mom. I, I know she’s alive. And I’m going to find her.”

Matt stared into hardset amethyst eyes.

There was no lie there.

There was no fear.

Matt gave a slow nod. “This is really what you want?”

“Yes,” Keith said quietly but the answer was no less strong for it.

“Then I won’t stop you,” Matt said. “But…” his gaze narrowed. “I’m going back with you. I have some things to say to Kolivan.”

Keith didn’t argue. Instead he inclined his head with a soft smile. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

“And Shiro?” Keith turned back to him. “I… I need you to promise me you’ll get help. Talk to Coran. To Allura. Please. I… I can’t lose you again.”

“I…” 

Shiro swallowed. And then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of Keith’s head. “I promise.”

And while things were still not entirely right…

They were going to be.

xxx

“Nice mask,” Matt complimented for the eighteenth time as he passed his eighteenth masked Blade member in their base.

Keith wasn’t facepalming but Matt could hear it internally and he smirked. 

Seriously though, this was the Blades’ problem. They never let anyone know the man behind the mask, literally.

But, Matt figured bitterly, that was probably why they did it. It was far easier to leave a comrade behind when you didn’t know them.

The only Marmora members he’d seen unmasked were Keith, a medic who had come to meet them in the hangar but had left with barely a glance when it was clear neither of them were hurt, and now…

Kolivan.

Matt had never actually spoken to the leader of the Blade of Marmora, had only seen him on video feeds.

He was a lot bigger in person.

But Keith was walking directly towards him and Matt was here to protect Keith and he didn’t give a fuck if Kolivan was the size of an elephant, he was not leaving until he’d spoken his mind. 

“You disobeyed your team leader,” Kolivan said as they approached in lieu of greeting. 

Matt bristled and opened his mouth but Keith placed a hand on his shoulder.

Wait.

“I did,” Keith said evenly.

“You acted against mission parameters.”

“I did.”

“And you know the consequences of your actions?”

“Yes.” Keith’s hand tightened where it was still on his shoulder. “I saved Matt’s life.”

Kolivan didn’t even spare Matt a glance.

Matt tried very very very hard not to take it personally.

He also wished very very hard that he had his staff so he could shove it somewhere fitting.

“The _other_ consequences?” 

“Are there any?”

Purple bore into yellow and despite the fact they looked nothing alike the two scowls were nearly identical.

“What is he doing here?” Kolivan asked, still not even looking in Matt’s direction.

Matt resisted the urge to gape at the complete lack of any other disciplinary action because he had not been expecting that, but then he realized he was being addressed like some dog and he’d had enough of that in the last twenty-four hours thank you very much.

“ _He_ ,” Matt stepped forward, Keith’s hand sliding off, “can speak for himself. And _he_ is here to speak to you.”

Kolivan did not look impressed.

Matt decided to apparently be the bigger person here and held out his hand. “My name’s Matthew Holt; translator and coder extraordinaire for the Rebels, the Green Paladin’s older brother—”

“Titles do not interest me—”

“— _and_ Keith’s older brother,” Matt continued.

And while Kolivan did not take his outstretched hand that Matt ultimately withdrew there was no mistaking the slight widening of his eyes.

Good.

“And there’s something we need to make clear,” Matt continued. “And that’s that Keith’s life — _all_ of your mens’ lives — are far more important than any mission.”

Kolivan’s eyes narrowed but he did not interrupt.  
Matt gave him a single kudo for that.

“I know what your mantra is. I know the whole victory or death, knowledge or death bit you guys have adopted. But if you keep going the way you are, keep running your people into the ground and leaving them behind on the battlefield then you are going to _lose._ You are going to lose soldiers. You are going to lose trust. And you are going to _lose this war.”_

“Do not think to lecture me on war, kit,” Kolivan frowned. “You have seen _nothing—”_

“Nothing?” Matt interrupted, voice hot. “You want to hear what that nothing is? It’s watching your best friend attack you to save your life because he knows you won’t survive the Galrans’ arena. It’s watching people dying under hopelessness and the shittiest working conditions you can imagine.”

“Matt,” Keith’s voice was a horrified whisper.

“It’s not knowing whether your family is alive or dead, if they’re being tortured or hurt or used. It’s seeing ruined planets and being too late to save anyone because your intel was a day old, because a word got translated wrong. It’s realizing that if you don’t offer yourself up that _thousands_ of people are going to die. And it’s being there, knowing that you’re going to be tortured to death and that _no help is coming.”_

Matt was trembling now and he swallowed back hot tears that were trying to come out. “And _that_ is what war is, Kolivan. I’ve seen it. I know it. And I want it to _end.”_

Kolivan said nothing but his face had evened.

Appraising.

“Keith is not some nameless soldier,” Matt said. “None of your Blades should be. No one in this war is. And the only way we’re going to win this is if we _fight together._ And that means you don’t fucking leave people behind. _Ever.”_

He took a breath. “Keith wants to be here. He wants to help. He _can_ help and you know, you _know,_ how valuable he is. And I won’t stand in his way of doing so. But if I ever find out that you’ve left Keith behind… then Zarkon is going to be the least of your worries.”

“Are you threatening me?” Kolivan rumbled, and he shifted, rising to his apparently now full height and _towering_ over Matt.

Matt didn’t break his gaze. “Yes.”

And Kolivan smiled, fangs glinting. “Good.” 

He turned his gaze towards Keith. “You have a strong _family_ , kit.”

There was a subtle emphasis on the word and Matt was not the only one who noticed, Keith’s eyes widening before a small, soft smile, too soft for what had just been said but looking perfectly at home, crossed Keith’s face.

“I do.”

Kolivan smiled almost softly. And then his scowl returned. “Now that that’s settled and my life is apparently forfeit,” his eyes cut to Matt’s, “it’s time for you to get back to work. You’re leading a team, mission parameters have been sent to your tablet. You head out in fifteen dobashes.”

Keith pressed a hand over his chest and gave a short bow, what Matt could only imagine was a Galra version of a salute.

“Dismissed,” Kolivan waved a hand at them.

Keith pulled Matt away as his feet decided he would be best left standing like a statue.

That had been…

Very unexpected. All of it.

But with Keith as a team leader…

Matt caught Keith’s eye and he could see the same reflected back at him.

With Keith as leader… no one would be left behind. 

“You’ll check in at least every three days,” Matt said as Keith walked him to the hangar where a Rebel ship was waiting for Matt. “Me, Shiro, Lance, Katie — anyone and everyone. And if we don’t hear from you we’re coming in guns blazing and if you’re not actually dying you will die of embarrassment by the time we’re done.”

Keith let out a wet laugh. And then his arms wrapped about Matt in a tight hug. “Thank you.”

“Take care of yourself, Keith,” Matt whispered, squeezing him. 

“You too. I… I love you.”

Matt’s breath caught.

Keith had never… 

Not to him.

“Love you too,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of the dark head like he’d seen Shiro do over and over.

Ugh. 

Still greasy mullet.

Matt kissed it again.

It physically hurt as Keith disengaged from the hug, stepping back.

His eyes were wet.

“Go on now,” Matt made a shooing motion with his hand, blinking back his own tears. “You’ve got a mission to lead, little brother.” His expression sobered. “You are a good leader, Keith. A great one, no matter where you are.”

“Thanks, Matt,” Keith whispered. “For… for everything.”

Matt gave him one last hug, pressed one last kiss into the dark hair, and stood watching as Keith left the hangar, shoulders back, standing tall, and every bit of the leader he insisted he was not.

That was what made him such a great one.

And Matt knew that with Keith as a team leader in the Blades, things were going to start to change.

Because Keith didn’t leave anyone behind. 

Not a soldier. Not a prisoner. Not a friend.

Not a brother.

And if there was no one left behind…

Then the only way to go was forward.

And so they would. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick author's note: I do firmly believe Shiro has PTSD but that’s not really what is going on here with Kuron. Haggar saw a believable out that would satisfy suspicions and turn it instead to compassion and empathy and she (and Kuron) took it. But even so, Keith and Kuron!Shiro are now on better footing and Keith has Matt in his corner now too and so while not completely fixed, Keith is not alone or feeling like an outsider anymore and I think we can all be happy with that :)
> 
> Remember, fanfiction is meant to be engaged with. _**Please, please, please**_ don’t just be a page click or a kudo or a bookmark. Instead be an engaged, appreciative reader and leave a comment to show said appreciation and give the author a little love for sharing their work. Share a favorite scene, line of dialogue, comment about the writing style, a character, an observation …Thank you so much to those who do ♥ I hope you enjoyed this fic and its series :) (Edit: wow, hahaaa or not. Guess that's that then :(We end on a whimper here folks, not a bang.)
> 
> **(Like my works? Want to read even MORE? Visit my[Tumblr, icypantherwrites](https://icypantherwrites.tumblr.com) for details.)**


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